Make Money Easy For You

The Truth About Fear – The Root is You

Fear, as we all, I’m sure, have figured out by this time in our life, is crippling beyond any other adversity we’ll ever face. Whether it’s fear to ask a girl out, fear to continue in your job, or fear to get OUT of your job, we’ve all experienced some sort of fear in our life.

What if you could take that fear, throw it out, or better yet, let it fuel you to greater success? How would you like to make your life successful in seconds by learning the simple (yet secretive) truth of fear, doubt, and worry? The one basic thing

Be prepared: you’re going to have a lot of things exposed and thrown out. If you truly want to be successful in all that you do, this discomfort will be natural, and even sought after as you go along.

Something I have learned in my own experience is this. And this is the secret to gaining the life that you truly want to attain. If you understand this one part, you can shove worry, doubt, and adversity out of the window.

Fear is selfishness.

Fear is the total embodiment of self-preservation. I’m not talking about afaid; like something scared you. I am talking about the fear, concern, and apprehension we face daily. Fear of loss, fear of what people will think, fear of letting someone down, or just fear of discomfort are all stemmed from selfishness and pride.

Imagine yourself in a public place. Would you throw your hands up and scream? Why not? “It’s foolish.” But what if you wanted to? “It’s foolish.” That’s beside the point. The majority of people I talk to would rather be even-keeled in public because it’s safer than being the exact way they are with their friends.** Because they know that their friends and family can accept them, but the uncertainty of those around them that they don’t know makes them afraid to be themselves. I won’t go into detail about how this affects every aspect of your life, you would have to visit my blog at www.askbryanmiller.com/ to understand where this can crush you.

Take those who are shy. Not just quiet by nature; but antisocial by upbringing. They’re afraid to talk to knew people because it is uncertain. Does the person make them afraid? Not usually. It’s their own insecurities that make them afraid. The shadow of doubt in themselves is cast on their confidence. The crippling nature of fear can hold back more than anything else in life.

Now here is the exercise to get over this fear, and to begin living a life unhindered by worry and doubt.

Get over yourself. You’ll read this countless times on my blog. Getting over one’s self is the step into freedom to do practically everything. It is the mental check that tells you that you have nothing to fear. “I can’t ask her out, she’ll blow me off!” If you realize that this is self-preservation, and not aiding you at all in getting what you want (to ask this girl out) you are only hurting yourself and you need to get over this.

Most people want to believe that their life is shaped by the circumstances that they are placed within. Or they believe that outside forces can dictate the life that they currently live. Even though there are outside forces that should be taken into consideration, there is no real reason why you should fear them, or act on anything less than your own personal goals and aspirations.

– **I am not talking foolishly living your life on the opposite fear spectrum, where everything is about yourself and you selfishly disregard others for your own selfish ambitions. Contrary to what fear currently does: focusing only on one person, you (or me), live a life free from worry to benefit others, yourself, and the world around you. Fear doesn’t stop you from gaining success for yourself, it also hinders you from impacting the lives around you. So go and “get over yourself” and become successful for yourself and those around you.

Read more: The Truth About Fear – The Root is You

Higher Ground Negotiations: Don’t Compromise Your Position with a Compromise

I still remember sitting in the car with our French representative on the way to our customer’s factory north of Paris some five years ago. At that time I was Director International Sales for a German technology company. The conversation went this way.

“Alain, what do you think? How much of a discount will Monsieur Ribault expect? You know, we offered the instrument including all accessories, installation and commissioning for 350,000 USD.”

“The last time, we sold the same machine for 280,000 USD was four years ago. Also, I know, you added some features to the machine that improved its performance. However, knowing M. Ribault, it will be tough to achieve a higher price than last time.”

“The price for the previous machine was already at the bottom. Our cost increased, not decreased, with higher wages, higher material cost and improved design. So we need a higher price this time.”

“Well, we can try to get him on 300,000 USD. Would that still be acceptable?” I inquired.

“Actually not, but o.k. At the same time we need this order now, so if he can decide immediately, we are willing to compromise to 300k.”

I knew that M. Ribault was a tough negotiator but I also knew that his company, a multi-national automotive corporation, was very satisfied with the machine they bought four years earlier.

When we met M. Ribault, he opened the conversation by saying that his top management’s requirement was to reduce the cost for any supplier by 3.5% per year on the average. This policy was introduced the year before.

M. Ribault was not a man of many words and he frankly stated: “We need your price to go down by 7% at least, i.e. the maximum we can pay for this machine is 260,000 USD. If you can’t follow our policy and efforts to reduce our cost, I’m afraid that we will need to look for alternative suppliers.”

Wow, there I sat, expecting to get a better price and now I had an important customer seriously saying that if we didn’t lower our price to 260,000 USD, we would be out of the game.

At first, I tried to explain why in this case it was impossible for us to lower the price and that we actually needed 7% more, not less. I realized quickly that this attempt would lead nowhere.

So what to do? Negotiate and pressure him so long until we reached a somewhat still tolerable compromise? Perhaps to reach at least the same price as last time? Give up? Give in? It seemed like one of us had to lose and that one would most likely be us, no matter if we compromised or not.

When I thought more about it, I realized that M. Ribault’s company would also lose. I knew that our instrument was by far the best the solution they could get for this application, so if we gave up, they would lose by choosing another supplier. If we gave in, they would lose because with such a bad margin on our side, service would be reduced to an absolutely necessary minimum in order to recover at least some of the lost margin.

Read more: Higher Ground Negotiations: Don’t Compromise Your Position with a Compromise

Advice for Couples Headed for Divorce After Bankruptcy

Staying married is tough. That’s one of the reasons so many people give up.

But staying together after a bankruptcy is really tough. Not only do you have your personal issues to work through, but you’re constantly getting conflicting financial advice that can put you deeper in the hole.

My wife and I made a promise early on in our bankruptcy that the “D” word wasn’t allowed to be uttered in our home.

It must have helped.

Although neither of us has been divorced, we were headed in that direction on a few occasions. There was the time in 1995 that Michele stayed in a hotel overnight without telling me where she was. That was a real wake-up call.

But what would I have done if divorce had ever been an option?

I would have started by reading Mistake 24 on page 47 in Do You Make These 38 Mistakes with Your Credit? Here’s what it says:

“A divorce decree does not change the fact that you are a co-borrower on a loan. What typically happens is a couple divides their debt with no regard for who is legally responsible for the debt. Each person is still responsible regardless of what the judge says.

You should also contact your lenders to determine what other options you have.”

As I said, a divorce decree doesn’t change the fact that you are responsible for any credit held jointly.

When you open joint accounts you and your partner sign a legally binding agreement holding both of you responsible for the account. The divorce decree is another binding agreement between two people who consent to divorce. It does not change previous agreements between you and other creditors.

It doesn’t matter to the creditor who actually made the charges (if it’s a credit card). It doesn’t matter who agreed to pay in the divorce decree. And it certainly doesn’t matter to the creditor that you’re getting a divorce. The creditor will try to collect from both borrowers.

A word to the wise, don’t sign a divorce petition until everything with your jointly held credit is worked out. Promises to fulfill at a later time or by a certain date can be overlooked and expensive to enforce.

What I mean by “worked out” is that all credit held jointly is closed, refinanced into individual names, or paid off to eliminate the debt.

“Worked out” does not mean that your ex-spouse has signed a promissory note or some other legal document promising to pay off debt.

An irresponsible or vengeful ex-spouse can wreak havoc on your credit rating for years after a divorce. It’s legal harassment in its truest form.

Bottom line: the best advice I can give you is…

…do not sign a divorce decree until all credit matters are resolved. Signing the divorce decree should be your trump card and a very good reason to make things happen your way.

What I’ve gleaned from divorced couples I’ve talked with is that they believe signing papers at the lawyer’s office resolves everything. It doesn’t.

You need to truly resolve matters, which, as I wrote above, means get your name removed from everything jointly held before you sign the divorce papers. That could mean refinancing, creating individual accounts, paying off debt, closing accounts, or whatever it takes.

The last thing you need are late payments appearing on your credit reports after your bankruptcy is discharged. A series of recent late payments can cripple your chances of getting low interest rates after bankruptcy and keep the dark cloud of bankruptcy hanging over your head well after it should.

If you plan ahead and pay close attention to credit accounts held jointly, you can ensure that your credit reports and FICO credit scores won’t get damaged any worse. This is something that your divorce attorney will never tell you about. It’s not their area of expertise. They simply don’t know what kind of impact a divorce will have on your credit reports and credit scores. And frankly, they don’t usually care.

When you’re married, it’s often easier to just make all accounts joint accounts. Many of us do it without even thinking. However, if you can both agree to have separate accounts in addition to your joint accounts, it can potentially save months and years of frustration for both of you if you do get divorced–or, for that matter, if there’s an unexpected death, disability or layoff.

Another situation where things can get sticky is when your ex-spouse files bankruptcy and you don’t. The creditors of jointly held accounts that your spouse filed bankruptcy on will come knocking on your door for payment…and eventually may push you into filing bankruptcy (if you haven’t already) regardless if the debts that the spouse filed on were in the divorce decree.

Be aware that your spouse’s negative narratives may appear on your credit reports and damage your credit. I talk about negative narratives on page 55 of Do You Make These 38 Mistakes With Your Credit?

Here are some credit tips to help you through a divorce:

.

Black Belt Negotiating

How would you like an extra $5,000 or more a year? This money can be earned simply by becoming a better negotiator, yet most people in the United States rarely take advantage of the power of bargaining, except on rare occasions when making large purchases like cars and houses. In other countries, like Asia, people there negotiate everything everyday and save thousands.

Negotiating is like a martial arts contest where power, leverage and timing can mean the difference between winning and losing. For instance, a martial artist would never go into a contest without first spying on his opponent to find weaknesses. In the same way, you can gain bargaining power by doing your homework. If you’re buying a diamond ring, for example, find out how long the ring has been on display, the standard profit margin on jewelry and how badly the owner wants to sell it. Finding answers to questions like these could save a lot of money.

Before engaging in contest a martial artist warms up by stretching. Likewise, a savvy negotiator warms up by building rapport and finding common ground with the other party, because people like to do business with people they like.

Next, fighters will cautiously probe each other looking for weaknesses. In bargaining this is done by throwing offers onto the table to see how the other party reacts. Experienced fighters often use guile to lure their opponents into range by pretending a blow has hurt them more than it really did. Similarly, a negotiator could pretend to be shocked by an opponent’s offer to get her to come up or go down in price. Visibly showing surprise or hurt is called flinching and it used by master bargainers to gain concessions without giving up anything.

Martial artists are taught to read the body language of their opponents so they can see a blow before it is unleashed. Experienced negotiators can literally read the other party’s mind by watching body language and listening carefully. If a seller says, “My price is $500 but make me an offer” you know their price is flexible before you even start. Without saying a word their body language can also tell you if they like or dislike any offer you make.

Martial artists do not believe in win-win and neither should you. Even when sparring their best friend they want to give their best effort. When bargaining, fight for the best deal possible assuming that the other party will take care of themselves because they will.

Fighters are supremely aware of time and try to use it to their advantage by saving as much energy as possible for the last few seconds of a round when they can score points against a tired opponent. Black belt negotiators put their opponents under time pressure by setting deadlines. A car buyer might visit the dealership only an hour before a doctor’s appointment so the dealer must give his best offer before the customer leaves, likely never to return.

In martial arts, as in life, there are unfair fighters who will do anything to win, so you must protect yourself at all times. Negotiators must be aware of unfair tactics such as nibbling, which is asking for concessions after an agreement has been reached. If this happens to you just remember this blocking technique, “Before you give a concession – get a concession.” For example, if a seller says, “Couldn’t you give me just twenty five dollars more because I’m not making any money on this deal?” you can respond with, “If I did, would you throw in the extended warranty?”

Finally, when a contest ends, fighters will bow to each other as a sign of respect as if to say, “You were a worthy opponent” which makes both contestants feel good whether they won or lost. Negotiators should also congratulate the other party for having gotten a good deal. Otherwise he might change his mind and go back on the agreement.

Just like becoming an accomplished martial artist, achieving black belt status in negotiating takes practice. Every time you pull out your wallet ask yourself if this is an opportunity to hone your bargaining skills. If it is – get out there and earn a black belt!

Read more: Black Belt Negotiating

What is the lemon law?

A lemon law is a statute that obliges the manufacturer of the new vehicle that has a non-conformity (a persistent condition or fault that can cause the decrease in its value, use or safety) to provide a refund or a new replacement. Each state has its own lemon law and lemon laws in America can vary.

The father of lemon law statutes is the Magnuson-Moss Act. Enacted in 1975, it has become a landmark publication. It was aimed at promoting consumer rights to protect buyers against acquiring continually defective vehicles. It is an effective tool to counter deceptive warranty practices. It is applicable to goods with a price tag of over $25 bought after 4 July 1975 (the date the legislation came into force) with a major emphasis on automobiles.

The Act is centered on the express warranty that the manufacturer supplies the customer with. It facilitates bringing in warranty suits as it envisages the award of the attorney’s fees. What is an express warrant? It is an oral or written confirmation by the manufacturer to remedy any defects or replace the vehicle if he fails to meet the specifications set forth within a stated period time, which is often referred to as a warranty period.

The Magnuson-Moss Act is to be applied to express written warranties. It can be useful if the manufacturer refuses to repair, refund or otherwise remedy the vehicle. Then the customer is to take the case to the arbitration court and to prove:

* the warranty is in place * it has been breached * the vehicle has developed a defect, * which was caused by the breach of warranty

The Federal Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act served as a basis for state lemon laws. The definitions of an express warranty and period differ from state to state too. Generally, the mileage under warranty makes 12,000-18,000 miles, while the warranty period ranges from 12 to 24 months.

Apart from the above-mentioned laws, there is the Uniform Commercial Code (UCC), which grants the customer the right for a refund or replacement of the vehicle that the manufacturer claimed to be defect-free. The UCC and Magnuson-Moss Act function in concert.

As for the “who’s going to cover attorney’s fees” question, about half of the states give you a chance to reimburse the attorney costs. If you bring in a suit under the Magnuson-Moss Act, in most states the manufacturer will repay you the attorney costs if you win the case. In some states, you will have to pay the manufacturer attorney’s fees, if you lose it.

As for the used and leased cars, it again depends on the state. Some includes these vehicles into the law, other have separate laws for them.

To prove that you have a lemon maker, you have to present the documentation, which clearly shows that you have taken your car to the repairs for “a reasonable amount of times” and it hasn’t been fixed. There should be dates, names of the dealer/manufacturer, a kind of defect and the entries made for the same defect should be identical. It can be a real fuss, and time and effort consumed to take an action to court. So try finding out as much about the vehicle you are going to buy as possible before you tear off a check.

Read more: What is the lemon law?

Indoor Gardening Plants

Eventually we are all given a house plant either as a gift or a plant from someone who is moving and can’t take their plants with them, instantly giving you the basis for indoor gardening. Many times if you don’t know how to care for it the plant will wither and die. Other times people start to care for the plant and suddenly become avid gardeners.

Indoor gardens are similar to outdoor gardens, it’s just that you are caring for plants in your home instead of in your garden. A big plus to indoor gardening is that it can be enjoyed by people that live in the cities with no access to land. It is also a joyful hobby for people that are confined indoors. The real bonus is that they are healthy for us. Basically plants take in carbon dioxide and turn it into oxygen (photosynthesis) thereby purifying the air that we breath. So you have attractive plants with added benefits.

Indoor gardens are ideal for people that live in hard, cold climates or for someone who lives in a climate that gets searingly hot. With an indoor garden the gardener can manipulate the environment so that their plants thrive. If it is dreary, cold and grey wouldn’t it be delightful to have gorgeous plants sprinkled around your home that not only add beauty but cheerfulness too?

After choosing the plants you wish to grow you must choose a container for it. You can opt for a small plant that can be placed on a counter or windowsill. Even a large evergreen in a big pot can be placed next to your door or in a sunny spot in the corner. You must make a plan for your indoor garden. Figure out where you want to place your indoor garden so you will know how much space you have for the plants. Once this is done you can choose the container and the plants you wish to grow. Don’t forget to research the plants needs, like watering, sunlight and food before you go to the nursery center.

Once you have gathered all of your material you can start planting and arranging your indoor garden in your home. When arranging your garden be sure to put plant that needs bright sun near a window. Plants that just need indirect light should be put in a more comfortable spot of low or indirect sun for them. If you get this wrong you will be throwing out your plants and buying new ones.

Don’t overlook planting an indoor herb garden especially if you like to cook. Herbs needs are four to six hours of sun per day and loose easily drained soil. They are pretty plants and will add zip to your meals.

If you have pets carefully choose your plants. Pets and plants must be able to cohabitate in your home peacefully. Some plants are toxic to animals. You have to be sure that your animal and the plant can live together. For instance, a tall plant may be seen as a scratching tool by cats or even a litter box. Cats have been known to wrap themselves around larger plants and snuggle in the warm dirt. Sometimes this can disturb the roots. One way to beat this is to put ornamental rocks or crushed seashells right on top of the soil.

You can have an indoor garden and enjoy all of the benefits of beautiful plants. Just do some research either at you local nursery or on the internet. What are you waiting for? Start planting.

Happy Indoor Garden!

Read more: Indoor Gardening Plants

How to Negotiate Like A Pro In Long-term Negotiations.

Ever notice that negotiations usually go much better when there is a history of trust from previous successful negotiations? That is no accident. The good will that is built up over the years allows the other party to accept your positions at face value. However those negotiations can get flat and you might want to try something new as well. Here are some tips to build on that long term relationships during negotiations.

Look To The Past For Inspiration.
Usually I say look to the future, and that the past is called the past for a reason. That is because the usual negotiations are unsuccessful and the past may be a source of frustration and pain. However, when there is a history of successful negotiations, the negotiations themselves are a source for study. Try to analyze what has worked and what might need improvement. Even if you are pleased with the results, what could make the negotiations better? For example, you could ask questions like the following:
1. Was I prepared enough?
2. Did I give in too soon?
3. Were any mistakes made?
4. What worked and would I use that technique again?
5. What did not work and how can I improve?

Look To The Past for Pitfalls or Drawbacks

Even though successful negotiations predict further successful negotiations, negotiations with the same parties for several years do have some drawbacks or pitfalls. The negotiations can be predictable and even boring and the parties can become complacent. The parties anticipate what the other side is going to do so that there is no element of surprise. When it is time to close the deal, they are more likely just to split the difference. Negotiations repeated over the years can go flat. As they say, familiarity can breed contempt. If the parties know each other’s moves, they can predict where the negotiations are going. Sometimes the negotiators just go through the motions and don’t put much thought into the process. Each person has a role and they just go back and forth as they always have. Sometimes the expectations are fairly low and that can affect the bottom line

Try Something New
You might want to assign some different people to the negotiating team or pick a new chief negotiator to shake things up. You might want to add a new formula for the payment of fees. You might try to ask for something new this year, something you really want. You might start in a different order. Start with the important items if you have been starting with the easy items. Maybe you want to start all over again and start from scratch and build a new contract. This is fairly drastic but might be worth a try. If you are happy with last year’s contract, then you might want to think of some brand new provisions. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

Be Prudent

Even though you may want to try something new, be prudent on how you implement it. Don’t risk everything just for the sake of trying something new. Experiment by trying one or two minor changes and see how it works. Don’t allow years of successful negotiations to be jeopardized for the sake of innovation. You will need to assess the situation to see if the tried and true is still working or whether the parties have become complacent and need some new strategies at the negotiation table.

In conclusion, a long term negotiations are usually built on mutual trust and will likely predict good future negotiations. However, it will up to you to decide whether the parties are complacent and caught up in a routine or are already at their peak performance. You may have to try something new to put some new zest in the negotiations. Or you may want to continue the techniques that have worked in the past. The point is that there should be a review to determine the strategies for future negotiations.

Read more: How to Negotiate Like A Pro In Long-term Negotiations.

The Top 7 Techniques of Persuasive Language

No matter what you do and what you want to achieve in your life, there will come a time when you need to persuade someone to see things the way that you do. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they will agree with you, but you will want to understand the basics of persuasive language in order to increase your success in these kinds of situations.

A metaphorical method

Just as in good writing, using other words can help you to persuade someone to your viewpoint. Some of this isn’t meant to be deceptive, but rather it will help to allow the other person to see what you mean if they can not understand it in the way that you are describing it. For example, if you’re trying to explain the benefits of a new water heater, you might want to describe it as the money maker because of its efficiency and better energy consumption.

Change what you mean

Another way to use language to persuade people is to change what you mean what you are talking. This isn’t necessarily about changing what you think, but rather changing what it sounds like by changing the meaning. Better put, when you want to change the way that a romantic or business partner acts, you will try to change your persuasion into seeming to benefit the relationship itself, rather than to change the behavior. You don’t talk about what they’re doing wrong; you talk about what you want them to do so that the relationship can be better.

The words you choose

People can become persuaded by the details rather than the bigger ideas. When you see a commercial for the newest technological advance, don’t you find that you get swept up in the new features rather than the overall use? When you’re trying to persuade someone into seeing something the same way you do, you can try to use more descriptive words in order to make them see the situation the way that you do.

Sales techniques

When sales people want to persuade someone to do something or buy something, they use various forms of persuasive phrases and words. For example, you can say something like, ‘Well, that’s good, but this is better’ or something like, ‘That’s not all.’ Think about your favorite commercials and advertisements and slogans that they might have used. Try to see how you might be able to incorporate their slick moves into your next argument.

Punctuate for them

When you’re writing something down for your partner or in a business situation, using important punctuation can help to signify the parts that are most important to you. However, you can go overboard with this as well. Too many exclamation points can show that you might be a little over-anxious or excited. They can also look like you don’t know what words to emphasize so you just emphasize them all with these pieces of punctuation.

Words that convey emotion

When talking with someone that you know well, you will want to use words and phrases that they already associate with something good. For example, in a romantic or personal relationship, you can allude to inside or private jokes as a way to make your current points. Or you can use words that have special meanings to you in order to make the rest of your argument seem relevant to their needs.

Read more: The Top 7 Techniques of Persuasive Language