Can't find what you are looking for? Maybe you will find it using the search provided below:
Three Simple Steps to Having a Great Day!
Many times I close an email or an article by saying, “Decide to have a great day!” Most of the time, I end my Blog by saying, “Decide to have a great day!” I really mean it! Decide to have a great day. You should make that decision as soon as possible every morning.I’m sure you’ve heard expressions like, “Well, let’s see what the day brings.” Is that to say we have no control over whatever happens today, good, or bad? Are we just supposed to watch and see what kind of day comes toward us?Does, “whatever the day brings,” mean that if you have a bad day, it was just meant to be, because that’s what the day brought? I say[......]
read more
-
Read More
Choosing Family Camping Tents
There are countless adults who will say the most memorable part of their childhood was the family’s camping trips. Whether the sleep out took place in the backyard or involved a more in depth planning and execution process, camping is near and dear to a lot of peoples hearts. It makes sense that as those children grew up and had families of their own that they would want to continue the tradition and take their children of exciting camping trips as well.
Of course to make this dream a reality, the most important piece of equipment is one of the family tents. These tents have evolved over the years into virtual paradises of home like co[......]
read more
-
Read More
History And Purpose Of Education In The United States
Education of the Minorities By the late 19th century educational debates were still raging on “who was to be educated?” and “how this education was to be carried out?’ Such philosophers as John Dewey and (closer to us) Jean Piaget understood that “all knowledge has a social origin, and the interest of the child are the primary source of learning” (Spring, 1989). The same author said that after the Civil War black leaders, particularly W.E.Dubois and Booker T. Washington debated not the importance of schooling but the kind of education for the Negroes. Mr. Washington, considered by many as a traitor, would acquiesce with the 1895 Plessy v Ferg[......]
read more
-
Read More
Mother Cow Report Card
In one respect, possibly the best person to do a preliminary assessment of a cow protection program is an accountant, because of his or her training to evaluate performance in terms of names, dates and numbers. These factors reveal a lot about the quality of cow protection, even before the project is visited.
Let’s evaluate the Mother Cow program by a set of standards (abbreviated here) that I posted a year ago. The point here is not to attack Mother Cow, but rather by revealing positive standards of cow protection to promote the defense of Dharma in all cow protection programs.
MONITORING AND RECORDS
1. The entire herd should be cou[......]
read more
-
Read More
Working for the Future
Sometimes I wonder if my online home business is going anywhere. I question if I’m doing anything right or if it’ll just become another one of my failures in life. I’ll admit, there have been times where I’ve felt that I should cut my losses and move on. But then I think about why I’m trying to succeed in making money online in the first place.The idea of pulling in money from the internet has fascinated me for the longest time. The thought that I could sit on a computer and do a minimal amount of work, compared to having a real job, and earn money I that I can put in a bank, buy whatever my heart desired, or help others out, was a thought th[......]
read more
-
Read More
Next >>
- Self-Improvement
Of course we all love our children dearly, but who knew they’d be so messy? When you have children, you can never count on how long your house will actually stay clean after you’ve cleaned it. A day? An hour? Less? Cleaning up after your kids does not have to take on a life of its own. By making a clean and organized home a priority for the entire family and by setting and sticking to household standards, you can avoid feeling more like Maid than Mom.
Ages of Your Children
Household chores are not just for older children. Children as young as two can learn to be organized. Toddlers can learn to put away their toys, brush the dog, put their dirty clothes in the hamper and help to unload groceries.
Older children need regular household chores. Studies have shown that children who have chores at home get better grades, are more social and more confident than children who do not have chores. Children need a certain amount of responsibility and need to learn to be accountable for their actions. Requiring your children to do household chores will help them to be more well rounded (and organized!) as they grow. Older children can make their beds, keep their room organized and clean, dust and vacuum, wash dishes, feed pets, and water plants.
Rewarding Efforts
Always thank your children when they’ve completed a chore and praise them for doing it and doing it well (when deserved).
The traditional chore chart on the fridge is a great parenting tool for positive reinforcement. Reward your children with stickers on the chore chart next to the chore they’ve completed. When they get X number of stickers, they get a reward – a new book or toy, their favorite dinner, a trip to the movies, etc. The chore chart system can be tweaked and customized for your family to suit each child in the house.
Your older children may be more apt to take their chores seriously if there are dollar signs involved. Base your children’s allowance on what you can afford, how many chores your children do and how well they do them. For instance, you can pay according to age (so an 8 year old would receive $8 per week). Or come up with a pricing system that works for you. Luckily, my 3 year old is quite happy with stickers, and my 8 year old is thrilled with Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
Flexibility – Make it Fun!
When it’s possible, allow your child to choose chores that they like to do. Their response will be better because they will enjoy what they’re doing. My three-year old loves to dust. I let her turn her music up a bit, hand her a damp rag and she goes to town. It’s a different story when it comes time for her to clear the table after dinner though. That’s like pulling teeth – without pain killers!
Do your children fight over who does which chores? Rotate chores from week to week so that your child isn’t stuck doing something he/she hates every week. (This week Susie dusts and Johnny takes out the trash. Next week it’s Susie’s turn to take out the trash and Johnny’s turn to dust.)
Try not to base household chores on gender. There’s nothing wrong with your son having to wash dishes or do laundry and there’s nothing wrong with your daughter taking out the trash or washing the car. No housework is strictly for girls or strictly for boys. Send your son off to college with the ability to do his own laundry, and your daughter with the confidence that she can haul out a ladder to change a light bulb.
If rotating chores doesn’t work to stop bickering, try writing the chores down on little pieces of paper and having your children pick their chores from a hat each week.
If your children don’t have chores, it’s not too late to start. Hold a family meeting and explain that you need help to maintain the house and that effective immediately everyone is going to start pitching in. Introduce chore charts and allowance/reward systems and explain to each child which chores they’ll be responsible for, when each chore needs to be completed and if necessary, how to do it.
Be sure to have consequences ready for chores that aren’t done and explain them in advance. In our house, if one chore is neglected or refused, it’s a done deal – no allowance, no negotiations. It may take a few weeks to get your family in full swing, but it will come together – I promise.
You are Mom, not Maid. You can ask for help and get it! Your children may not thank you for it now, but later on it will pay off for them – and for you! Make housework a part of your children’s routine and make yourself less stressed. Sit down and supervise for awhile …you knew you had kids for a reason.
Nicole Dean welcomes you to visit http://www.HomeOrganizationHelp.com to help battle clutter and disorganization and http://www.ShowKidsTheFun.com to make memories that last a lifetime.
Read more: Chaos, Children, and Chores
Have you ever stopped to think about how you might catch yourself a monkey?
Well, it’s simple really, even for the monkey trapping novice. Here’s what you need to do….
Step 1: Go to where monkeys hang out.
Step 2: Put a stack of peanuts in a small jar tied to a rope.
Step 3: Go hide in the bushes (holding the other end of the rope).
Step 4: Watch the monkey jump from the tree to stuff it’s fist into the jar to grab the nuts.
Step 5: Walk slowly towards the monkey.
Step 6: Watch the monkey’s hand get trapped in the jar because it won’t let the peanuts go.
Step 7: Catch the monkey!
Now before you start laughing about how these primates have been beaten with the wrong end of the evolutionary stick, take a few moments to consider the things that you are currently ‘holding on to’ that no longer make sense.
What are you holding on to emotionally?
One of the great challenges of being human is letting go of the emotions that no longer serve you in a positive way.
All of us have experienced emotional hurt at some stage in our lives. It’s a very natural part of our existence and completely necessary to deepen our experience of the world. But are your past pains holding you back from your present and future happiness?
Does it continue to make sense for you to ‘hold on to’ any feelings of betrayal, anger, resentment, frustration or emotional upset? What would happen to you if you just started to let go of your ‘emotional peanuts’. What relationships would you heal? Who could you finally forgive?
Or maybe the person you really need to forgive is yourself. What impact would unconditionally forgiving yourself for all your mishaps have upon your life? Do you think it might be worth giving it a try?
And what about your material possessions?
Take a good look around at all the material possessions that you own. What are you holding on to that you no longer need? Do you have books on your shelf that you will you never read again? What about inside your wardrobe? Are there any items of clothing or footwear that you haven’t worn in the last 12 months. Are you seriously ever going to wear them again? I mean come on, really?!
My own experience of letting go.
I’ve recently gone through an exercise of giving away all the books, clothes, and knick knacks that I could no longer put to good use. I found the whole experience to be incredibly liberating. I now also have the added benefit of having the necessary cupboard and shelf space for new things to flow into my life.
As a part of my letting go process I also mysteriously stumbled across a misplaced envelope stuffed with cash and a couple of un-banked of cheques. What will you find by just letting go?
What will letting go mean for you?
Open your mind to all the amazing possibilities that will flow to you by releasing the things that no longer serve you. Doesn’t it make sense to get rid of the old couch before you bring in the new one?
If you lighten your load a little and create space in your life for your energy to flow freely, you’ll be back swinging through the trees in no time!
Copyright Damien Senn 2005. All rights reserved.
Damien Senn helps people create compelling futures. He is one of the UK’s top Life and Business Coaches as well as a fully qualified Chartered Accountant.
Damien is the author of the ‘Senn-Sational Success Journal’ and has developed his own coaching model called the ‘Senn-Sational Success System’.
For your free download ’101 things to do before you die’ please click the following link: http://www.senn-sational.com/freeresources.htm
Read more: Have You Fallen into a Monkey Trap?
The original article contains an image of a sad clown. This can be found on my blog through my website.
The sad clown attracts us and evokes a feeling of sadness and compassion. Have you ever noticed that the sadness and compassion really feels like it is for you? Often we live our suppressed emotional experiences through some other external situation, mainly entertainment. Once we’re in a safe environment, it’s okay to let it out. Except, you’ve buried so many emotions, you’re not sure what is left unexpressed. It can derail you at any time, upsetting your equilibrium, setting the waterworks at the drop of a hat, and blazing the rage with a tiny spark.
Consider a new way of being in this world a way that allows the expression and understanding of your emotions. Imagine being present for others who are enmeshed in difficult times, barely coping to keep their emotions in check. What healing can occur! What strength will be gained! What friendship and loyalty will be developed! What team support will be developed! What courage will be found!
- If we’re human, then what does it mean to be human?
- If we’re spirit, then what does it mean to be spirit?
- If we’re emotions, then what does it mean to be feelings?
- If we’re the mind, then what does it mean to be thoughts?
- If we’re soul, then what does it mean to be soulful?
I believe we are spiritual beings having a physical, human experience. Within in that context, we experience many things on many levels. Could it be that this is what it means to be a multi-dimensional being? I’m not interested in empirical evidence and succinct clarity I’m interested in the experience of being and life. The complexity of existence and the human entity absolutely requires an element of faith and trust in an inner core that cannot be defined by science.
Lee Down is a Professional Coach, Trainer/Facilitator, Speaker, & Writer of One Man Can Human Capital Development that focuses on relationships, the key foundation to success in business and life. With more than 15 years professional experience and a thirst for truth and understanding, he focuses on the human spirit and human capacity.
Working with clients, he facilitates the breaking down of beliefs, barriers or obstacles that bring clients forward on their journey of discovery with spirit, energy, abundance, passion and purpose, integrating the mind and body experience. Working with business, he brings visionary leadership and relationship skills to the forefront that witnesses an empowered culture evolve and develop directly impacting the improvement to the bottom-line.
Read more: Faithful Emotions
Self-esteem issues seems to be one of the strongest emotions that
challenge many women today. It has become a woman’s first worry when
she awakens, and her last worry before she sleeps.
It is said that we are all born with a natural self-esteem, but
through the worlds concerns about power and control, we have been
trained to worry about what others think of us and how we can please
them. We have forgotten how to love ourselves and treat ourselves with
respect. We are taught that loving ourselves is selfish and will only
make us appear conceited, which will turn people off. If we are not
allowed to learn how to love ourselves, then how can we learn to allow
others to love us? We cannot feel love and positive esteem for
ourselves if we focus all of it on others first. If we do, we then run
the risk of offering all of our inner feelings to someone and not
getting anything in return. At this point we begin to feel resentment,
cheated and even lower in our ability to ever love again.
People that have scars from resentment and abuse are the hardest
people to love. They have the highest low self-esteem walls to climb.
In short, they are unreachable. This is not a good thing at all.
When a person says in all honesty that they are suffering from a low
self-esteem issue, I take that very seriously. This is a true cry for
help. They are at the bottom of their pit and are asking for help to
get out. They are at a point where they will expect you to love them
and take care of them as they would themselves. In other words, we all
know the worst thing a person can do is expect their partner to be a
mind reader. Well, when a person is suffering from a low self-esteem,
trust me, they do expect just that. They will expect for you to just
know what they need. They only have faith in you. They have lost faith
in themselves long ago and they have no recourse. This places a very
huge burden on your shoulders as their partner. This is not a good
thing!
No one will ever be able to feel what another person feels inside. No
one will ever be able to love another as they can love themselves. No
one can read our minds. No one can do for us, what needs to be done to
make us feel inner peace. It is our responsibility to ourselves to
love us first. You really must know who you are to start. To be able
to fulfill your needs and desires and goals in life, you need to
identify with your wants. You cannot do any of this if you do not
focus on you. You need to be all about you for a time. No one can do
this for you, so just do it!
This is called finding your space. Your space is a very, very
important place to just find yourself in peace with no distractions.
Just you and your thoughts. Learning about your self-esteem also
means that you must come to terms with this question, “How badly do
you want to have a higher self-esteem” ? If you really want it, then
you will find it. You have been trained to un-love yourself, so it is
not impossible to retrain yourself to love you again. Your environment
is also important in helping you feel positive vibes. For you to truly
accept yourself unconditionally, you must look beyond the simple quick
fix motto’s that are plaguing television and magazines, such as diets
that will make you a better you, or take this pill and you will be a
new you. Ugh, there are so many misconceptions out there. It seriously
boils down to your mind and your heart. Love yourself as you want to
be loved. Love yourself as you want to love someone! Just be you! That
s a very good thing!
Remember, “HABITS”? Well that’s exactly what you need to do. Create
loving you habits and respecting you habits. Think of it as your very
first self-esteem day. You wake up, you stretch and hug your partner
or just yourself. Even hugging your pillow is a good hug. You have no
memory of any other feelings. You love yourself. You have no other
intention but to take care of you. You look in the mirror and stick
your tongue out and roll your eyes inward and smile! Smile at you
because you love who you are. Ti’s a very good thing to be able to
smile at you for no other reason than it is good to be you!
Please do not get me wrong here. Life will still challenge you with
its ups and downs. You will still have to deal with all the negative
things that your day will unravel. But the difference is, you will be
doing it from clear, fresh, positive self-esteem eyes. Nothing will
defeat you in the end. Oh, it may give you a run for your money, but
you will override all of it with your smiles and love for yourself.
Imagine the confidence that will shine inside of you. Your reactions
will be out of love and understanding. They will no longer be from
resentment and hate. This is a good thing!
Remember also that anything worth having does not come easily. Once it
has been attained or learned, it remains forever. This too is a good
thing! Many women have experienced the highs and the lows of self-
esteem, you are so not alone in this battle to find a better you!
To finally have the gift of self-esteem will not bring you happiness,
that is something that comes after. But it will bring you a deep
awareness of who you are. A new respect for you. A genuine love for
yourself and the confidence to soar! Finding your self-esteem saves
your world, not anyone else’s. But it does give you the strength to
help others to find theirs. So Ladies, please follow me into the world
of a very high self-esteem.
HUGGGGZZZZZZZ~D~
Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com
Read more: Self-Love = Positive Self-esteem!
Waking up as a little boy the excitement for the day’s adventure pumped through my veins and lit up my eyes. I’d look out the window at the bright sunshine, the hay fields, and the expansive blue skies and magical clouds. Once out in the freedom of the day, with no responsibilities, I’d hop, skip, jump, and run with joy, wonder, and excitement. Somewhere along the way, I began to remember and learned about cause and effect. Suddenly some limitations came into existence. Continuing to grow and mature, I learned to reason and apply my own critical thinking to situations that may or may not happen. I was creating a new reality within the context of my mind and my past experiences. The horror!
Now, with another level of awareness that has developed, the spiritual awareness, it’s like walking the tight rope between this world we live and work in, and the uninhibited freedom of a child at play. There is something more to this experience of life. We are not just conditioned beasts of labour and love. We are not just confined to living a life sentence in suburbia. There is, and always was, so much more available to us. It exists everywhere, including suburbia, at work, in the mundane, at the most extraordinary and ordinary. The only way I can explain the discovery is to dance.
One day hopeful, the other day destitute, one day in love, the next day hateful, one moment playful, the next moment serious, and one day success, the next day failure. We’re constantly moving and changing. The only constant is the silence, the stillness, the quiet place deep inside where spirit connects spirit. We feel it in the closest moments of intimacy with family or significant others. It is experienced in the greatest profound moment of joy and all words, all senses, all comprehension has escaped us. There is nothing left to figure out, there is only to forget.
Everyday we would do well to forget many of the happenings of our yesterday. No bias, no fear, no limitations, no expectations, just wonder. Wonder and curiosity accompanied by joy and love. This intrigues me greatly. How would tomorrow look? How would my world interact? This ideal leads me to believe that more is available for all of us. As an idealist, many things I say may seem unattainable. This is the peak possibility, of that there is no doubt. While the ideal is beautiful, any measure or occurrence of that ideal is welcome. A grain of salt to flavor each day for a fantastic experience of life. Each day, I need to be that grain of salt too, and dance!
Lee Down is a Professional Coach, Trainer/Facilitator, Speaker, & Writer of One Man Can Human Capital Development that focuses on relationships, the key foundation to success in business and life. With more than 15 years professional experience and a thirst for truth and understanding, he focuses on the human spirit and human capacity.
Working with clients, he facilitates the breaking down of beliefs, barriers or obstacles that bring clients forward on their journey of discovery with spirit, energy, abundance, passion and purpose, integrating the mind and body experience. Working with business, he brings visionary leadership and relationship skills to the forefront that witnesses an empowered culture evolve and develop directly impacting the improvement to the bottom-line.
Read more: The Dance of Life
How wonderful it would be if we can read the mind of our partner or even anyone whom we are attracted to. We would know what he or she likes, whether he or she is in love with me or simply whether he or she is cheating on you!
Although I do believe that there a psychics who can really mind read, I also understand that it may be a God given gift and may not easily be modelled or learnt. So well what can we do? Cry and wallow into self-pity because of a lack in skills?
NO WAY!
I attended a course call Patterns of Excellence which encompassed the essentials of NLP. One part of the program included this thing called language pattern of “Mind Reading”. This is really cool I thought! This trainer taught that the tools could also be used to seduce someone! This is way too cool.
In NLP, mind reading is simply using phrases to embed a suggestion into someone else’s mind to make the person more receptive and comfortable to what you propose. For example, when out on a date, you can say this to build rapport and play the lead role of the date:
“Did you know that XXX Restaurant serves the freshest oysters? You want to go there for dinner?”
Your date will be amazed at how well you understand him or her and you know he or she will be in agreement. And the rest of the journey is made easier.
Have fun testing it out!
Mark is a Certified NLP Practioner who writes articles to help help others discover more about themselves and unleash their latent potential for excellence or attracting the people they like. Visit http://www.1seduction.com
Read more: How to Mind Read Someone
Do you Love yourself?
This has to be the goal. This has to be that which is the most important thing in your life. If you achieve nothing in this life apart from learning to Love yourself, you will have achieved everything.
That’s all well and good and sounds wonderfully inspiring but that word ‘Love’ causes us a bit of a problem because it means different things to different people. It even means different things to the same people on different occasions.
Is the Love you feel for a romantic partner the same as the Love you feel for your children? Is the Love you feel for your children the same as the Love you feel for your siblings or parents? Is that the same as the Love you feel for close friends? Is any of that anything like how you feel when your heart goes out to a stranger who’s circumstances touch you in some deep way?
An easier way to uncover what this mystery of Love is is to ask yourself this question. “How do I know when I’m loved?” Is it in someone’s words, or their touch, their gentleness with your body or your mind? Is it in their encouragement or support? Is it in their total and unconditional acceptance of you no matter what you do?
Loving yourself isn’t going out and spending money on you – though this may be a consequence of Loving yourself.
Loving yourself isn’t about telling the world how wonderful you are – though a consequence of Loving yourself may well be that the world discovers how wonderful you are.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean always putting your needs first – though you may discover that satisfying your own needs first frees your mind to assist others in achieving what they would like to achieve.
Loving yourself is nothing more and nothing less than a total acceptance of you doing whatever you are doing, achieving whatever you have achieved, and not judging yourself for anything you have done.
There is no place in Love for criticism or judgement.
There is no place in Love for guilt.
Move rather to a place where you can acknowledge what works and what doesn’t. What works is what produces the desired outcome without harm – mentally or physically, to anyone else. If something doesn’t work then do something else – no beating up, no negative self-talk about being stupid, thick, careless, idiot, hopeless, failure, unsuccessful…
Just notice that you tried something, it didn’t achieve the results you anticipated, so try something else. And bear in mind that old saying ‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got’. If nothing seems to work, if you never seem to achieve what you desire then all it means is that you’ve been taught thinking patterns that aren’t beneficial to you and you need to learn new thinking patterns. There are plenty of books, people, and courses that will assist you in that.
Consider that whatever your life circumstances, it’s your thinking that got you there. If you like them – great, if you don’t, you need to think differently.
Judgement has no value here. All self-judgement does is make you feel bad. That never helps. At least it never helps if you want to feel good. Happy people tend to feel good, so doing anything that makes you feel bad is inconsistent with a desire to uncover the secrets of happiness.
Did you know that in some countries it’s not only dangerous but also illegal to drive on the left hand side of the road?
Did you know that in some countries it’s not only dangerous but also illegal to drive on the right hand side of the road?
Now tell me whether it’s right or wrong to drive on the left.
Now tell me whether it’s bad or good to drive on the right.
It’s ok to want life to be different, but you won’t get it by hating how life is right now. That just creates more of what life is like right now because all of your mind energy is focused on what you hate. Focus your mind energy on acknowledging that you’ve always done the best you knew how – even when it didn’t produce the results you desired. Especially when it didn’t produce the results other people desired for you.
You won’t change your body shape permanently by hating the way it is. You will change it permanently by loving it and seeking to nourish it and care for it and wanting it to be healthy and fit.
Do you feel loved when people make time for you?
Do you feel loved by people who have no time for you?
In order to learn to love yourself there has to be time for you.
You are a wonderful person and you have skills, talents, insights, and abilities that are special to you. These gifts may not be judged by others to be the best, but they probably drive on the other side of the road, and so can be ignored. Yes it matters what other people think. But it doesn’t matter anywhere near as much as what you think.
In the early days of developing my photographic skills and talent someone close to me was a little disparaging about work that I was pleased with. I could have given up. But I didn’t and I achieved my dream of getting my work on the cover of a magazine that was on sale all over the country.
If no one else believes in you, then you have no right to walk away from you too. Just imagine how lonely a 6 year old can be when no one wants to be their friend. Doesn’t your heart go out if you see a child all alone and obviously lonely in the playground? That’s what you do to yourself every time you give up on you. That’s what you do to yourself every time you criticise or judge yourself.
Total acceptance is your intention. It doesn’t matter how many times you act in a way that’s at odds with your intention. The only thing that matters is that each time you remind yourself “What I’m doing here is inconsistent with my intention to accept and love myself”. That’s all you need to do. Achievement isn’t the goal. Keeping your intention foremost is.
Michael J. Hadfield MBSCH is a registered clinical hypnotherapist. You can experience his unique style on a popular range of hypnosis CD’s and tapes at http://www.hypnosisiseasy.com Here you can also obtain treatment for a variety of problems and explore his approach to health, healing, and hypnosis.
Read more: Keys to Happiness – No 2: Self-Acceptance
I’ve long known that the humble ezine is one of the most powerful tools a business consultant can have. Here’s what you need to know so you can use it for maximum marketing success:
Direct mail is the #1 most important self-marketing tool you can use as a new or struggling consultant.
And why?
Because with direct mail you can create a list of prospects…your own custom list of “cherry picked”
potential clients.
Think about it. In every other form of self-marketing
(networking, article writing, etc.), you attract prospects, but they’re not “cherry-picked.” If you want Microsoft on your client list, then you have to target Microsoft. And the most direct, most accepted way to get in front of your target at Microsoft is to send a letter.
Virtually every other form of marketing ill “attract” your audience, but you can’t control exactly who responds. Only a direct mailing to a hand-picked audience will get you the cream of the crop.
Now while direct mailing may be very effective, it IS time-consuming and expensive.
Therefore you’ll want to use your direct mailings (and all other forms of self-marketing) to do one thing:
Drive your prospect to your web site where not only can they get to know you, but they can also sign up for your…
FREE ezine!
Once you get enough people signed up for your ezine, you can scale back on the direct mailings (or if you wish, cease them altogether).
Your free ezine is your #2 most important self-marketing tool. Now you can market to an interested audience cheaply and easily!
Savvy online marketers know that the ezine is the world’s most effective tool for converting leads. Some individuals and online businesses have made MILLIONS exploiting the power of the ezine to build relationships and convert leads!
So whatever you do…direct mail, public speaking,
articles, whatever…make one thing your goal always:
Get your prospect to your web site so they can sign up for your free ezine!
So, how do you do that without twisting arms?
Well, with bribery of course 
The “power tool” for getting people’s names and addresses has always been “something free.” In lead-generation, which is what consultants must do to get clients, a free consultation, free information, or some other enticement is used.
Direct marketers know that the MOST effective free offer involves the solving of a “key pain” of the prospect.
For instance, as a copywriter for software companies, I know that marketing directors are “in pain” over ROI (return on investment). So I might entitle my free ezine the “Software ROI Generator.”
Now that’s a compelling title for a free ezine that
promises to solve a software marketer’s problems… but these days, with so much information available, it’s no longer enough just to have a great ezine title.
What works now is to offer something EXTRA for signing up, such as a free instant download of a free report…with yet another promise to solve a pain.
For the software marketing director who signs up for my free ezine, I might offer a free instant download of the report: “The 7 Hidden Revenue Sources Within Your Database That You Can Tap NOW for Instant Profit.”
You see…once again I prod at the “pain”…the constant concern over ROI.
What’s a hot button for your audience? If you don’t know, call them and find out! Most business people are happy to talk with a consultant who is doing earnest research to find out what their target market’s problems are.
Our job, after all, is to solve problems. That’s how
virtually EVERYBODY gets paid!
Read more: One Of The Most Powerful Self-Marketing Tools A Consultant Can Have, And How To Successfully Use It
Just when you have got used to the adage ‘less is more’, I come along and turn the whole philosophy on its head! This is because in order to be happy I believe more is less and here’s why
One of the fundamental things MOST of us suffer from is a lack of self–belief at one level or another. So the less we believe in ourselves the more we suffer. The reverse is also true, the more we believe in ourselves the less we suffer. And when I say ‘suffer’ I mean really suffer! From lack of time with our families to work pressures and frustrations – and from relationship woes to feelings of anxiety due to self–consciousness…believe me, this is how women suffer! All of it is due to a lack of self–belief.
No matter what the symptoms, the cause is always the same. So how do we get more of what we want i.e. more time with our families, more loving relationships, more confidence and more energy? Additionally, how do we have less work stress, less anxiety, less frustrations and less guilt? Yes! That’s right! We need MORE self–belief!
If having more belief in oneself is the answer, then how can that be achieved easily and quickly? Here’s the thing, you can only achieve this…and I mean ONLY if you really want to make some changes in your life. Ask yourself, ‘Am I ready to make the commitment necessary to make some vast improvements in my life?’ You need to ask yourself this, and answer honestly because as women, we have a tricky and complex mind that can fool us into believing we want something but actually will trip us up later and will cause us fail.
The culprit is our subconscious mind. It has its own agenda when it comes to goals and changing habits because it doesn’t like to make changes at all…it likes what it knows and wants to stay where it is comfortable and familiar. But because it is our subconscious mind, we are not always aware of its hidden agenda.
Does this sound familiar to you?! Have you ever tried to diet or exercise or read more for example, or keep a New Year’s resolution? Did it fail after a while? Do you know why it failed? The bet is that your subconscious had a lot to do with it.
So how do we make sure our subconscious mind does not sabotage our future efforts? Yes! That’s right! We need MORE self–belief! If you have few negative thoughts or beliefs about yourself, your subconscious mind has no reason to sabotage your success. Therein lies the vicious circle…you need more self–belief to be committed to make the necessary changes and you need more self–belief to ensure you do not sabotage your own efforts!
So where and how do we begin? There are amazing exercises and a system for doing this is my book ‘The Happiness System for Women’, but for this article I shall get you started by asking you to complete the following questions
1. What do I need right now to help me get more of what I want in life?
2. Who or what can help me achieve that?
3. What is the main thing that is holding me back?
4. Who or what can help me overcome this?
5. What do I intend to change or improve in my life today?
6. Is their anything missing that can help me move forward?
7. What is my overall intention when it comes to my personal life?
8. What is my overall intention when it comes to my work life?
9. How to do I intend to be successful with these intentions?
10. What or who can help me achieve these quickly and effectively?
Answer these questions as fully and as honestly as you can. Also do not be afraid of getting the assistance or guidance you need in life and be aware of the areas that require a little helping hand.
Next let’s look at how to get what you want. If you answered the 10 questions about getting what you want above then get ready to move beyond thinking and into action.
Now you should have a good idea of how you can get what you want in life both personally and professionally without any obstacles and with an appropriate support structure.
So what’s next? How do you turn an intention into action? It’s all about making that first step. You do not want to become overwhelmed with your intentions. Stay in charge of your development by breaking things done into easy-to-handle bite-size pieces.
First you need to decide which area needs your attention first…your personal life or your professional one? Which ones seems the most urgent to you right now? Once you have chosen your area of focus, choose one goal or intention within it.
Now you have the first area of development ready for action! Write out your intention or goal clearly and concisely. It is always important to include a deadline when you have a purpose so write down a date by which you want this to be real, an actual part of your life. Work backwards from that date to today. Now what is the very first thing you have to do today to move you forward enough so that you are on track with your goal’s time line? Do this for each day so that you have planned each move you make right up to the end date. Once you have done this you have pretty much achieved your goal in your mind at least. Think about the day you have achieved your goal as if it had already happened. Answer the following questions:
1. What does it feel like?
2. Who or what is around you?
3. Where are you?
4. What do you hear?
5. What do you smell?
Make the experience as real as possible. Use all your senses, imagination and creativity so you really ‘see’ it. When you have a clear vision of your intention being realized then you are using your sub-conscious mind power to help you achieve it instead of it working against you. Seeing your goal come to its fruition will give you the added confidence and competence to help you achieve it for real.
At any time you fail to achieve one of your intentions, think about whether you sabotaged yourself at all. Nine times out of ten you will realize that it was you who stopped yourself from achieving what you wanted for whatever reason…and underneath that reason is a lack of self-belief. Here is an exercise to help you improve your self-belief:
1) Be confident that the end result is possible.
Has someone else achieved this goal? If so then it must be possible List 5 people who have achieved or are currently achieving this or a similar goal. The more similar they are to you and your current position the better. If no-one has achieved your goal yet, list 5 things which people have achieved which are similar in some way to your goal, or which can be a source of inspiration to you.
As soon as you can say with total conviction ‘it really is possible to achieve this goal’ it’s time to move on to step 2. If you can’t do this yet, look for more examples of people achieving amazing feats and overcoming overwhelming odds and add them to your list until you do believe your goal is possible.
2) Believe that the end result is possible by you.
Remember what you have achieved in the past – surely you have the necessary skills and abilities to do this too? If not, where can you get them?
3) Really want the end result
Ask yourself now – do you really want to achieve this goal – or is it just nice to have? Make a list of how achieving this goal would benefit your life and the life of others.
4) Believe that you deserve the end result.
Do you feel you deserve to achieve your goal? If you don’t then you will sabotage your own efforts.
5) Achieving your end goal must not contradict any other beliefs or values you have
Is there anything which doesn’t seem right? Are there any values which you are contradicting? Is there anything or anyone in your life that you are neglecting? Do you feel totally right about achieving this goal?
If the answer to any one of these questions is yes, change the vision of your end result so that it fits in with your beliefs, and what is right for you. Make it so that it feels just right. But make sure that they are not just excuses for you not going ahead with your goal.
Finally…
Include a review of progress at key points along the way so you can learn from your experiences.
Know that you do not have to know all the steps now. The future is uncertain so it is not always possible to plan everything. Plan what you can for the moment, and then make a new plan once those steps have been taken. If you continue to do this, and learn from your experience you are likely to achieve your goal in the end.
Alexandra Watson has helped countless women create happy and fulfilling lives through her happiness system. She has developed a fool-proof, easy-to-follow seven step system to happiness that any woman can use and see results fast. John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus calls Alexandra’s book The Happiness System for Women ‘a vibrant and exciting journey to the centre of your soul’. Alexandra has featured internationally on TV, radio and in many publications. She can be contacted by email on: HappinessAuthor@aol.com or visit her website at http://www.AlexandraWatson.com
Read more: More is Less – More or Less!
Life is a journey which means there are no straight roads but twists, turns, crossroads, hills and valleys for us all to experience. We have to have the lows in life to appreciate the highs, besides, the lows can teach us invaluable lessons and help us to grow. But what happens when we end up lost in the wilderness with no visible way out? It happens. All of us at one time or another will experience our own ‘walk in the wilderness’ and when it happens we fall and fall fast. We fall fast into chaos, confusion and despair. Everything we have ever thought solid melts, everything we have ever learnt gets forgotten and everything we have ever held onto disappears.
We stand alone as those around us can only sympathize but not help us get out of the darkness, we have to do it by ourselves because we have just encountered our biggest life lesson, our most intense test and yet our most heavenly gift. If life were a straight forward journey, what would we actually learn? As emotional and highly-intelligent creatures would we be bored, stifled or just dull?
When you are in the wilderness the one thing you crave is normality and a desire to go back to how things were, even if it wasn’t right just so you can feel ok again. It’s a very scary place to be. How many of us try to go back to how things were and how many stick it out to learn and move on? What would you do? What have you done in the past?
The truth is we only find ourselves in the wilderness because we were on the wrong path in the first place. Understanding that is the first stage to finding your way out. The next stage is to be ok with where you are. Sit it out, accept your feelings, and know that you are on a roller-coaster ride of emotions which can be uncomfortable and sometimes very painful. Go with it but never ever believe that all hope is gone.
Hope springs eternal is a true old saying. You can find it if you look for it. And of course there is always old father time which heals everything. So look for hope because the worst thing you can do in any emergency (like being in the wilderness) is panic. Panic makes us act like headless fools and we become blind and separated from our common sense, our intuition and self-love.
Talking of which, let’s revisit the reason why we have found ourselves in the wilderness. I said it is because we were on the wrong path to begin with which can only mean one thing – a lack of self-love. That’s right. The whole purpose of life is to learn to love yourself so you can love others and make the world a better place. If we our missing the point of life, then we will go off the rails as it were. No matter what got you in the wilderness, behind it will be self-neglect.
Commonly, this causes us to stay in unhealthy relationship with a person, a company or whatever because we fear the alternative. This lack of self-love is what makes us feel so bad.
If you put your faith into the fact you are deserving and that your life can and will be great, no matter what, then you will be out of the woods in no time at all. In the meantime, be courageous, love yourself and look forward to the future because no matter how grim it may seem right now, it will get better. I promise!
Alexandra Watson has helped countless women create happy and fulfilling lives through her happiness system. She has developed a fool-proof, easy-to-follow seven step system to happiness that any woman can use and see results fast. John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus calls Alexandra’s book The Happiness System for Women ‘a vibrant and exciting journey to the centre of your soul’. Alexandra has featured internationally on TV, radio and in many publications. She can be contacted by email on: HappinessAuthor@aol.com or visit her website at http://www.AlexandraWatson.com